Dortmund

The Vietnamese community in Germany has a population of approximately 100,000, most of whom live in eastern Germany. In recent years, however, many are coming to the various regions of western Germany, among them a large number of Vietnamese students.

Thao Trang is one of them. She came to Münster in 2004 to spend a year improving her German language skills before finishing her university degree in Vietnam in German language and literature. In Münster she met a German doctoral student, Michael Bode, who was then writing his doctoral thesis in geology. The whole time, Thao Trang felt that Michael was a good friend who she could turn to with questions about the language and culture, land and people of Germany.

Yet, from the very beginning Michael felt differently. At their first meeting he secretly fell in love with Thao Trang, but he did not dare show her how he felt. The petite, 25-year-old girl with the bright smile and graceful and gentle manner “enchanted” the young German. For Michael, time passed very quickly. Then the day arrived when Thao Trang completed her German course and returned to her homeland. Also, Michael (at age 35) was able to finish his dissertation.

To outward appearances the two bade one another farewell like two good friends – hiding their sorrow. Inside, however, the young German felt a deep pain and feared he would lose Thao Trang forever …

Following his heart, Michael came to Ho Chi Minh City a few times in the ensuing two years to visit Thao Trang. The last time, he resolved to propose to her.

Thao Trang was waiting for this moment for her heart had already been “conquered” by her German friend with his romantic love, his sincerity and perseverance. She says, “It is rare among Vietnamese men to find one who loves so sincerely and perseveringly.” Michael remembers, “The moment that I sat before her parents and asked for their daughter’s hand in marriage lasted an eternity. I had never been so nervous and was very worried that they would not allow it...”

Happily, Thao Trang’s parents, owners of a packaging firm, permitted the young German to marry their beloved daughter. Thao Trang relates that her parents were at first shocked that one of their two daughters was in love with a foreigner. They could not imagine what their daughter’s life in a foreign country would be like. After accepting Michael’s proposal, Thao Trang was very excited and worried whether she would be able to integrate in German culture and society.

Now, three years have already passed. The happy family on Böckler-Strasse has a lovely two-year-old daughter, Luise Gia An Bode, who is both German and Vietnamese.

When I visited the family, Thao Trang invited me to have a delicious piece of apple cake. She proudly told me, “We picked the apples last week in my mother-in-law’s garden.” Thao Trang is very happy and satisfied with her life here and every second week she and her family visit her mother-in-law who lives alone in the village.

She tells me that her German mother-in-law loves her very much and is very considerate in dealing with her Vietnamese daughter-in-law. Every time that Thao Trang praises a meal she prepares, her mother-in-law is sure to serve it to her at her next visit.

In Thao Trang’s eyes, Michael is a perfect husband. “He always helps me with the housework and childcare. Apparently German men don’t consider the household just women’s work. Michael is a good cook, very good, better than I am and he knows how to cook pho (note: a Vietnamese noodle soup and favourite dish) and even really likes fish sauce.” Michael smiles warmly and admits, “I love to cook.”

At present, Dr. Michael Bode is employed by the German Mining Museum and Thao Trang is preparing for the admission exams for her medical studies in Germany.

I am aware that not all Vietnamese women are as happy as Thao Trang. She discovered her true love and is living in a happy family with her foreign husband.